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November 02 2017

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Come my child, before the humans return

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Richard Langly was the event coordinator and people were actually wearing tinfoil hats. This was the best day of my life. The ice cream vendor’s hat said “make the x-files great again”

November 01 2017

Things That Strike Fear Into the Hearts of D&D Players


- When you’re travelling and the DM asks what your passive perception is, then starts looking at charts

- “Make a wisdom save.” “What for?” “You’ll see.”

- When the rest of the party agrees to a plan that the DM has heavily implied will end poorly

- When the DM winces after rolling damage

- When the DM says “You feel compelled to…” and you realize you failed that wisdom save earlier

- “Next session is going to be a lot of fun.”

- “I’m not quite sure if I balanced this fight properly, but we’ll see how it goes.”

- “Are you sure you wish to proceed?”




i remember that phase of tumblr where the main form of communication was reaction images like you were encouraged to have a huge folder of them and reply with gifs to everything that was the site culture

Cause worded replies were, still are, and always will be unwanted and annoying




I’m not like emo nihilist I’m more like Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy nihilist like “life is meaningless and the universe does not care about you and it’s full of casual and callous destruction might as well have a party while I still can then”

Like the two forms of nihilism are “nothing matters so why?” and “nothing matters so why not?” and the latter is so much fun

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Cashier the other day: “have a nice night!”

Me failing to load one correct response from multiple possibilities: …….“YOUP!”

October 31 2017

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The world’s tiniest dragon must defend his hoard, a single gold coin, from those who would steal it.

Suggestion: The dragon’s definition of “steal” is somewhat loose. It still allows the coin to be used and bartered and change hands–but on one condition: the dragon must be with it at all times.

They become a familiar sight in the marketplace.

“Here’s your change, ma'am. One gold piece.” The merchant holds out a palm, on top of which rests a tiny, brilliantly colored creature clutching a single gold coin.

“That’s a dragon,” you say dumbly. “One piece… and a dragon.”


You cautiously reach out and attempt to take your change. You tug. It holds. You tug harder. The dragon lets loose a tiny, protective growl.

“Ma'am–no, ma'am, you have to take the dragon, too.”


The seller notes your dubious expression. “Not from around here, are ya?” They shrug. “Them’s the rules. Take the coin, take the dragon.”

They wait expectantly. Wondering how the world has so suddenly gone mad, you slowly, slowly hold out your hand.

The dragon perks right up. It scampers from their palm to yours with the coin clamped in its jaws and scales your sleeve with sharp little claws.

“Have a nice day, ma'am,” the merchant says. “Spend him soon, now, you hear? At another booth, if you can. He likes to travel.”

From its perch upon your shoulder, the dragon lets out a happy trill.

Bonus: the coin eventually passes to the rogue in a group of travelling adventurers. The dragon becomes the mascot of the entire group, and they lay out a small pile of coins for him to sleep on every night, clutching his coin like a teddy bear.

This is a D&D story and we all know it




When you load up on caffeine to make yourself less sad, but instead you just get Accelerated Depression™

I love how fucking abstract the concept of Accelerated Depression is. Like, it’s vague as fuck, but we all know what tf it feels like

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Reposted bypenispenispenislolbarnabiusz-ttcrispyboneszurawianiaczkaletha0smoke11




No one puts drugs in kid’s halloween candy.  Especially not expensive drugs. 

Here’s the snopes article and stop tagging me in that post. 

Fun fact: you want to know where the whole “poison Halloween candy” bs comes from?

In 1984 Ronald Clark O'Bryan gave his son, daughter and some of their friends cynide laced Pixy Stix (he was intending to poison his own children and gave it to the friends to cover his tracks). When his son ate one and died, O'Bryan told police they’d gotten the candy from a suspicious-looking neighbor. Turns out O'Bryan did it for life insurance money.

Here’s the wiki article: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronald_Clark_O'Bryan

There are 0 reported cases of children being poisoned or given drugs by strangers in their Halloween candy. However kids, you are 100% more likely to be poisoned by your parents. Happy Halloween.

The myth appears to predate O’Bryan, but he’s the only case of a murderer personally using this as a cover story; there were a few other deaths misattributed to poisoned or drugged candy, but three of them were due to unrelated medical problems and the fourth was a kid who ate some heroin from his uncle’s stash and his family blamed the death on tainted candy to cover up where the heroin came from.


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jesus what was wrong with people

They suddenly had money, fridges, freezers, and access to a variety of foods - all things that hadn’t been widely available before. Suddenly people had access to things that were beyond the dreams of people just a 100 years prior.

Enter corporations willing to go “oh yeah, you know what’s great (now that you can afford it)? Cold beef soup, served in a glass. Drink up your beef!”

Early 40s/50s foods are something I’m very passionate about.

They had no concept of what flavors tasted good together so they tried everything. The biggest ideas that were latched on to were things like loafs with layers that compose your entire meal and the suspension of basically anything/everything in jello (jello actually helped food last longer, because the gelatin sheltered whatever ingredients were used from bacteria. So, naturally, you put a fish in it).

Also pineapple. It was harder to get before then so the sudden availability of it made people go nuts. Bananas too to a degree.

Welcome to the wild and wacky world of Aspic, otherwise known as meat jello.

jello history is a fucking trip



did you know that Friday 13th was meant to be a really good lucky day meant for fucking because it was dedicated to Freyja, the goddess of love and fertility and the patron goddess of Fridays

but then Christianity found out about it and were like “Fucking???? outside of marriage????? NO NO NO!!!” and decided it was a horrible terrible bad unlucky day and you need to be super careful of everything you do in case you die or some shit.

so thanks Christians for ruining everyone’s fucking fun

Petition to bring back Friday the FUCKteenth.




Friendly reminder that the UN estimates it would take 30 billion dollars a year to end world hunger, which is approximately 5 percent of the annual US military budget. (~600 billion). Fuck the USA and fuck the military.

It would not be hard to fix so many problems with no negative effect or noticeable adjustment even required…

But. We. DON’T.

I feel like it’s also worth pointing out that the world’s richest people have a total of $6 trillion combined and that fortune keeps growing

October 29 2017

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Disney Princesses and fashion of the year they were released





Did anyone notice how quickly the internet turned into a Lovecraftian horror scenario?

Like we’ve got this dimension right next to ours, that extends across the entire planet, and it is just brimming with nightmares. We have spambots, viruses, ransomware, this endless legion of malevolent entities that are blindly probing us for weaknesses, seeking only to corrupt, to thieve, to destroy.

Add onto that the corrupted ones themselves, humans who’ve abandoned morality and given up faces to hunt other people, jeering them, lashing out, seeing how easy it is to kill something you can’t touch or see or smell. They’ll corrupt anything they think could be a vessel for their message and they’ll jabber madly at any who question them. Their chittering haunts every corner of the internet. They are not unlike the spambots in some ways.

Add on top of that the arcane magisters, who are forever working at the cracks between our world and the world we made. Some of them do it for fun, some of them do it for wealth, others do it for the power of nations unwise enough to trust them. There are mages who work to defend against this particular evil, but they are mad prophets, and their advice is almost never heeded, even by those who keep them as protection.

All people know several spells to use the internet. Facebook asks you for the magic words to log in, so does your email, so does your twitter and on and on. The spells are words or a gesture with the hand, some use the colour of your eyes, or the shape of your finger. Our chief of security joked about requiring users to give a drop of blood before they could log in. Many do not understand the humour of mages.

The cracks between the two are breaking. IP cameras filled our world with eyes and the magisters learned how to open almost all of them. We all carry magic slabs of glass that if you hold it up to your ear can sing to you with a loved one’s voice, but if you look at it with your eyes, can show you a corrupted human with bleeding orange skin scream the profane with a thousand voices. The other day I saw someone hack a moving vehicle. At one point they made it stop. At another they made it so it couldn’t stop. Some of our best and brightest are going to create an army of four winged bats hovering throughout every city and we are going to connect them directly to the dimension where the nightmares live.

I’m not saying it’s all bad, but I am saying Cthulhu lies deathless dreaming in this web we built him and he is waking up.

if you’ve spent your adolescence in the darker and more profane areas of this web you sure as hell don’t develop normal human appetites, that’s for damn sure. you wind up with a hunger for a lot more tentacles than humans are normally equipped with. 

My dash refreshed from this post TO this post when i opened the app

Add to this the post about how Tumblr is like Fairyland: payment can be given in stories and you don’t give out your true name.

October 28 2017







i hate the trope of kids giving their favorite stuffed animal to a younger child as a sign of compassion and coming of age, as if this is something that should be expected of kids as they grow up

im 22 and i dont care who you are you’ll have to pry my ikea shark out of my cold dead hands

I can’t remember the name of the study, but there was a theory, supported by pretty good evidence, that if you have your comforter, be it blanket, plush, pacifier, whatever, taken away when you’re not ready to give it up, even if you’re a dinky little kid, it can have really long lasting effects. People who kept their comforters into adulthood were less likely to smoke, drink or do drugs, tended to have better family relations and home lives etc, while those that saw their comforter removed or destroyed were more likely to be drawn to more serious “comforts” elsewhere. The more extreme the removal, the more extreme the result. Typically.

We learn at our own pace to make and break connections and emotional ties, and the situation is forced upon us, we seek comfort. But whoa wait, you can’t possibly have comfort anymore, you’re five. You’re a big kid now.

So when parents are forcing you to “grow up” by tearing the only comfort in the world from you, they could actually be messing you up big time.

In psychology they’re called “transitional objects” and they help the neurobiological process of helping children learn to internalize the experience of being loved and cared for, which is an essential part of learning to regulate your emotions.  They are REALLY important.

I wonder what it means psychologically that I’ve started getting a few more for myself?

Well, there’s a process we call “re-parenting yourself” where you give yourself the love you missed out on in childhood, and thereby start to heal the pain you’ve carried since then.  And using childhood comfort objects can be part of that.

You can wrestle Papa Bear from my mummified skeleton hands, you bastard sons of bitches

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What your headache is tellin you

I haven’t seen this post in a min but precisely when I have a headache RN it comes up in my feed

Two quick additions, as someone who suffered from chronic migraines

1. Behind the eyes: eye strain or just long stress. More sleep will definitely make this feel better.
2. Temples: unclench your jaw, as that bone is putting too much pressure on your temples.

This is a fucking life saviour with the amount of headaches I have

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